abby's oyster

new blog

2007-01-07T23:47:00.000Z

I think this blog was never destined to hit off. So i've decided not to flog a dying horse (or boil a dead oyster) and restart another blog. This time, i'm using friendster coz it seems easier to use for very technologically-challenged-unsavvy me.

Here it is http://ifiwereapainter.blogs.friendster.com. Cut it and paste it yourself coz i dunno how to create a link (how sad is that?! see what i mean?)

So yeah...Happy New Year people:) kisses.....

Winter blues...

2006-12-17T20:40:00.000Z

I think my blog deserves an update...

FIRSTLY, that guy in the previous post turned out to be MR NOT. Dont even wanna go into it... but put it this way - I was quite relieved to find out now than later... and nothing ever happened. Thank God actually... at least didnt accumulate any emotional garbage this time.

But yeah, life goes on... seasons change, old things end, new things happen... only thing constant in a student's life now are EXAMS :P Finished 2 papers last week, and its about 3 weeks to my Phase 1 exam on January 5. It's a killer whale of an exam.. 3 hours and covers everything from 1st year till now. Have been procrastinating for the pass 2 days to begin studying for it. But really gotta start NOW. Right after this blog.

Am going to Wales this weekend for Christmas with my housemate:) quite excited. Going to her home... which isnt really a house now, coz her dad's building a house and they're living in a caravan in the meantime. Cool huh? Do people in malaysia do such things? as in build their own houses? well i suppose it's too hot and we need to give people jobs. Hmmm...

So yeah, have a Blessed Christmas and Wonderful New Year. Christmas IS ABOUT JESUS COMING TO THE EARTH people, not about Santa Claus (just in case you didn't know). Love lots... especially penang Georgians... LOVE LOTS! Wish i could join the parties back home. Sigh.. heard you gals have been meeting up and having a blast.

Life's too exciting :)

2006-11-09T20:10:00.000Z

Wow.. this oyster's covered in dirt and dust man! almost forgot it existed! anyway... am back in the UK now. Have been back since the end of august..and oh man, so much have happened!

Firstly, i've moved into a house with 6 people! 2 guys and 4 gals. One guy is English, the other is from Hong Kong. And one girl is Welsh, Vietnamese, british-born vietnamese, and Ugandan. So cool huh? like united nations. And they are all really nice...cook for each other..have parties, bake cakes and deserts..just hanging out. It feels nice to have a proper home to go back to after Uni instead of just a bedroom with your bathroom and everything else in it.

But the most exciting thing is that...*blush*... i met someone! hehe.. *shy giggle*. Met him at the medics pubcrawl over a month ago. He's a fourth year medic. But we didnt really talk and all till like 2 weeks ago... we went to some friends' house and hung out and i guess...that's when "ka-ching!" hehehehee....

He's ah moh..Christian..blue-grey eyes...dark brown hair...5"10...and he's so nice! sigh... (i'm not the only one that thinks so ok...!)

So yeah..it's too early to say anything...dunno where it's all heading. But this time, though i'm really happy and excited, i feel surprisingly cool about the whole thing too...like if it happens, it happens. If not, then whatever lah...leave it to God.

Anyhow, it makes life really interesting...hehehe...a good distraction from exams in 1 weeks time!:P rights... write to me if you want more details. hehehehe.. love lots people who still read my blog...

the summer of 2006...

2006-08-22T06:00:00.000Z

is ending for me. It's been a great summer.. meeting family, meeting friends, meeting complete strangers and getting pleasantly surprised by kindness, seeing new things, learning, laughing, eating, sleeping, shopping... blisss.

It's weird, i realised that after 2 years away from malaysia, alot of my memories here are backdated...like when i said that "something something happened just only...just before i left.." only to be reminded that that was like ages ago.... felt like i was in a time warp. time goes by so fast...

But it was so good to be home. I think I'll make it a point to come home at least once a year. It's so refreshing, so nice to be spoilt and pampered by mom, and so nice to know feel that sense of security, of constancy - the feeling that there is someplace to go back to, and just BE.

I was in the Philippines with my sis and one night we were talking...we realised that we are literally nomads..living out of a bag. hehe...coz my parents moved to Balik Pulau and since my sis and I wont be really living permanently with them, we dont have a room there...we live in our sister's room. And our clothes and things are stored away somewhere (mostly thrown away! 2 years ago punya stuff...what to do). And even in UK, i change rooms every year... feels like a vagabond... quite exciting, but tiring too sometimes. that's why the feeling of "home" - old friends, relatives, penang...is so precious. Rene, Siew, Hooi Ching, Lin Lin, Betsy, Yee Voon, Deiv, Loh Jo... SGGS friends i managed to meet: Love you gals lots...take care and keep in touch kay.

I wanna write more about India and the Philippines..but i gotta go finish packing. Though I love coming home, I wouldn't miss the trips to India and the Philippines for anything. I think travelling in Asia is much more exciting than Europe..seriously..maybe coz we have europe on TV more. But yeah..if anyone wants to visit mongolia or nepal or vietnam or whatever, tell me! I wanna come!

PS This post is dedicated to Leong Siew Fong for calling me when i was almost asleep to (among other things) tell me that my oyster has many cobwebs. Love ya siew!!!

Quarter life crisis

2006-06-29T17:39:00.000Z

So..i turned 22 yesterday. And it felt strange...for the first time, i didnt really feel like celebrating. It's like..i felt OLD.

And aimless. Like..."What's there to look forward to in the future?" "NOW, what do you wanna do with your life Abigail??"

If i live to 88, i've lived a quarter of my life. Phew! Congrats =)

But what next? i feel like...all this while after high school and college, my aim was to get into med school and enjoy uni life...which is what i'm doing now. And then what? It feels like i've reached another milestone in my life. I gotta ask myself, reflect...and answer the question..."where is your life heading to next?"

I know bottomline is, I have faith that GOd has the best plan for my life and that the best is yet to come (otherwise life seems pretty hopeless aint it? with 3 quarters more to go..the best better be yet to come! ALWAYS).

But now i have the feeling that i'm running around like a headless chicken. What do i REALLY wanna do? be a missionary doctor? be a big time doctor in malaysia? marry a british person and 'disappear' somewhere? hahaha... not that it's SO important now...in fact, it probably isnt a big deal and i should take things as they come. Still, there's this nagging feeling in me that says that there is more to life than having a good time at uni, and time is ticking and i should know what i wanna do and make full use of my time coz time is precious and before i know it, BOOM i'll be 30 and stuck somewhere in the jungles of Sarawak wondering how and why on earth am i there. Time flies aint it? I am back in KL now (not yet in beloved Island) and already it feels so nice to be in Malaysia. Trust me, the grass isnt MUCH greener on the other side lifestyle-wise. We have so much good food and good stuff here u cant get anywhere in UK. But i am still very blessed to study there...it's a really enriching experience, observing how people do things and think differently. Really cool.

So..that's it. It's a phase. I'll be going to the Christian Medical College in India next sunday for 2 weeks to do some travel cum study. I heard it's a really great hospital in terms of its service to the poor people around it. My friend says its like paradise in the midst of a dump. Hehe..i'm sure going there has a deeper reason and i'm really looking forward to it. Till then... time for some deep meditation on the meaning of life.....heh...

Which is worst

2006-06-15T20:46:00.000Z

Having a cow poo over your face or brushing your teeth with your sister's toilet brush?

YeaH..THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!!!!

I was at a farm last saturday. it was so lovely...30 degree weather..bbq in the lawn..good friends, good food. We fed some cute pink piglets and decided to help milk the cows. I was putting pumps onto the cow's boobs when "pbleuwwkkk" - the stupid cow farted diarrhoea greeny brown poo all over my face. Ewwwwwww....

It happened that my face was facing her butt coz we were standing on a lower level than the cows coz it's easier to milk the cows that way. Some cows had 25 kgs of milk..imgaine 25 kgs of fluid hanging down from your boobs...ouch..not nice.

In 8 minutes i'm going to see the biggest boobs in england (on a person).

About the toilet brush thing, i was in my sister's toilet and just used what i thought was an extra toothbrush which turned out to be used for washing the sink and stuff. Bleah....

My exams are over and i'm currently bumming around in London with my sis. Eat sleep watch football eat sleep go shopping eat eat sleep.

Man....that's life.

RE: Cutest Dem Ever!

2006-06-01T16:30:00.000Z

I had a practical exam on Tuesday..and my examiner was the cute doctor (clinical demonstrator ie teacher-person)!!!!!

Oh my goodness...*hyperventilating*

When i walked into the exam room, i almost frozed when i saw him. Was so afraid i'd freeze and go blank. Seriously. Had to tell myself "now now..calm down." Anyway, he shook my hand and introduced himself and then said "we've met before right?" and i said "yes".

But in my mind, i wanted to say "Yes! But not enough! Can i have your number?" heheh

Anyway, the exam went quite well...ah...savour every moment of listening to his chocolate voice. Mmmmmmmmm.

And today i did my written exam and there he was right in front. He was my invigilator! Semangat man! That made my day:) He was so lepak..just sitting down on the chair reading a newspaper! I guess he couldnt be bothered if we copied or not. Yeah actually, he is really lepak.. walks about like a cool cat with his nose in the air. Literally...(or maybe he just has a big nose - he's indian). And he doesnt look so cute when he doesnt smile. But when he does...sigh....
I am contemplating going up to him to take a picture with him. I mean..it wont hurt right? should i get his number? hmmm...maybe not. I wouldnt have the guts to call! But do u think it'll be ok to go and take a picture with him and then tell him that i think he's fit? ('Fit' is the term used here to describe someone as 'hot').

I have nothing to lose right? RIght? he'll be gone by next term. And i wont see him again...unless i bump into him in hospital (slim chance). Should i? hehehehehe

Sounds so hiau. But heck man. You know, i feel that as i approach 22 in june (gosh, can u imagine?!) i have this "Whoa...time is going fast..slow down! i'm getting older! oh no!" kinda feeling...bordering on panic but not really. Anyway, i keep telling myself, if you wanna do something, do it quick and NOW NOW NOW or you may just move on and the opportunity will be gone.

Moved on,
The opportunity gone.

That rhymes! ISnt it cool? ;)

By the way i'm still alive! i have 2 more papers left..but they arent as heavy as the written one today, so i'm pretty relaxed now;) Woohoo... i can almost feel freedom.

People...give me ideas/suggestions/advice/encouragements/feedback. help!

.............................

2006-03-16T23:26:00.000Z

My blog is being visited by Georgians! Welcome old friends... forgive the bare minimalism though. I don't have any pictures or links or fancy add-ons on my blog simply because I don't know how and I cant be bothered to learn. But anyways, I love comments! that's the best thing about blogs i think. Comments! Just comment about anything! =) Say Hi! hehehehehehe
I can;t wait to see you all soon too! It must be about 2 years since i;ve seen most georgians. Terrible. But been seeing your lenglui pictures on friendster, makes me feel very proud to know such pretty ladies. Haih...as for me..please dont be shocked when you see my pear-shaped asset which i would gladly give away. Trust me, my body-shape has westernised. :P

My Babe sis got 4 As for STPM. Man...first one in the family! What an acheivement =0 am so very proud. Get your ass over here quick. Or better still go to the states..then can go visit you there =)

Today I had a lecture on COITUS and CONCEPTION. For the unlearnt,

coitus n.
sexual contact between a man and a woman during which the erect penis enters the vagina and is moved within it by pelvic thrusts until ejaculation occurs.
from: The Oxford Concise Medical Dictionary

Groovy. For the uninitiated me, it was a detailed explanation of the actual processes that occur. There are basically 4 phases of coitus:
1. Excitement and arousal
2. Plateau ie the maintainence of excitement
3. Orgasm - the peak
4. Refractory

Actually I think those lurid erotic novels (like the ones we used to pass round in high school) do a pretty good job of illustrating these phases. The mystery of medicine, I feel, is giving fancy latin names to commonplace things.

Like vomiting blood = hamatemesis
Pain on urinating = dysuria
Heart attack = myocardial infarction

And if there is an unknown cause of the illness, it's called IDIOPATHIC. So if a doctor says that, it isnt a disease...dont let anyone fool you! Be warned my friends.

Anyway, the lecturer brought in a large cylindrical cardboard thingy and wrapped some long balloons around it and asked a girl to pump the balloons "to illustrate how helical arterioles are an important factor in the expansion of the girth and length of the penis during erection."

Ah the wonders of nature! Our bodies are made to function so precisely, so intricately.. that I just cant believe that we are products of a random big bang. And even evidence points to that. I went to a talk on Evidence Based Faith on Wednesday. Was really interesting and enlightening. But will blog on it someday...or just email me at abigail.choong@gmail.com if you wanna know more about Science and Faith and how they both fit in.

Last thought: Imagine that out of the 100 million sperm that entered your mother, YOU made it. You swam upstream and beat the rest and MADE IT. Nice thought huh?:)

Do you know that men make 6 million sperm A SECOND? (i think). Amazing.

Ah..i love this module! Well, so far anyway... hope it'll still be this way before the exams!

Cutest Dem ever!

2006-03-03T16:07:00.000Z

Yesterday, I met the cutest dem (clinical demonstrator) I've come across so far. Ahhhh....

Such dark eyes.. and a voice like chocolate..mmmmm.....

Medical school ain't that boring!

Yesterday, we saw a movie on pregnancy and childbirth. Gosh, it'll make u think 1 million times before having a kid. Imagine having someone stick his/her fingers down there for 9 months (part of the examination) and then, when u give birth, the midwife sticks a needle into your vagina and takes a scissors and cut it to make it wider so that the baby can pass through. *cringe*. Mom, how can you go through that 5 times???!!!

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

The lecturer then declared "i'm sorry ladies, by the time you are over 40, more than 50% of you will have urinary incontinence or prolapse (ie your womb isnt well supported by your pelvic muscles and 'falls down')."

So difficult being a woman! No wonder we live longer than men, we have so much to go through..we are probably tougher. heh.

"But all is not lost. Pelvic floor exercises are excellent preventative measures. All you have to do is contract your pelvic muscles for 1 second, 10 times, 3 cycles a day." As the lecturer was saying that, i was tensing and relaxing my pelvic muscles like he said.. and he went "Yes it's good to start now ladies..I can see some flushed faces in the room.." or something like that. Man!! But he wasnt looking my way...so it wasn't just me then..hehe.

So take heed my dear lady friends. Pelvic floor exercises for optimum gynae health =)

550 pounds!!

2006-02-21T23:49:00.000Z

I just got awarded 550 pounds for nothing that I did! (well, i wrote a proposal and attended an interview).

It's a Travelling Scholarship. Basically it's open to all 2nd year students in the university to go travelling and conduct a study related to our course. My proposal was to go to India in the summer to "Study the influence of socio-economic development on public health." Pretty cool huh?

The interview panel (consisting of heads of dept from the school of economics, science, arts, medicine and dunno what..pretty intimidating) first asked me if i was gonna change the world that summer. Wahlau... of course I would want to change the world! But i humbly said no..not that summer. I'm just gonna observe and learn.

Well, not yet anyway. But at least it's a baby step..not even a step, a crawl towards my idealist dreams of changing the world and making it a better place.

Dare to dream..gotta get over myself and my limitations and ACT.

PRAISE THE LORD for his blessings!! The scholarship was actually 400 pounds. But quote: "in the light of your presentation and the quality of your evident enthusiasm for your project, you should receive an additional 150 pounds from the Ede and Ravenscroft Prize fund."

It's favour man...i suck at interviews most of the time. Kena reject from 3 unis somemore. So I cant say that it's me.

So estatic!! Hallelujah!! =)

Have u ever

2006-02-21T23:26:00.000Z

had the feeling of utter meaninglessness...that all that you are doing is in vain, empty, boring, pointless..and you feel like you hate ppl around you who seem so excited and upbeat about those things?

Yeah...i had a sudden..not to say panic attack, I cant describe it, but let's say that I felt like a ship that had wandered off course and struck an iceberg.

I was sitting at the Medical School Inter-school committee meeting last friday and whilst animated discussions were going on, I was hit with those wretched feelings. And they got me sooooooooo down.

Down.

Down.

I felt like giving everything up and not doing anything. And had a Msian Soc committee meeting that same night and felt even worst. Like all that I am doing is pointless. Bleah.

That was Friday.

On Saturday, I decided that all these feelings wasnt right. Something wasnt right. I fasted and prayed, I desperately wanted to make sense of it all. And then I realised..I had indeed wandered off course. I was doing everything..CMF, Msian Soc, socialising etc for ME. I was seeking personal satisfaction..and obviously, just doing things cant satisfy. Colossians 3:17 came to mind:

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

So amazing. A common passage, simple to grasp, and yet I lost sight of it's simple message. That is, everything that I do, whether it's a church activity or not, I should do unto God, for God. With a heart of worship and thanks. That transformed my mind and my attitude, and phew, my weekend was just turned around! And till now, it hasnt stopped being amazing! I serve an amazing God!!!!!

Today I was talking to a friend whilst walking back from class. He was like "I hate this place!" "It's so boring here! There is no purpose in anything." And i could almost imagine what he felt...and i strongly believe that without God, there is not much meaning in life. Yes there can be fun and friendship - I had alot of fun over the past few weeks, but somehow, the mundaneness of it all catches up with you unexpectedly and suffocates you.

We are creatures created by God to worship Him and to enjoy this planet, and I believe that everything we do could be enjoyable as long as we do it with an attitude of praise and thanksgiving to God. That's my formula for life.

Happy belated Birthday Tai Ko

2006-01-16T20:29:00.000Z

There's this guy called Abraham
Who used to give me griveous bodily harm
And though I whined and cried to mom
She never seemed alarmed.

That guy is my big-gest brother
Who is 5 years older
And though he used to give me fear
He is quite a dear.

He takes me out to eat
Whenever I need a treat
He is also a caring brother
I couldn't have asked for another.
(but i do have another equally dear brother!)

I pray that as you turn twenty seven
Your life will be an open heaven
And I hope that you will have everything
Above and beyond all that you have been imagining.

Take care Abraham. Love ya lots and lots.

Funny feeling

2006-01-12T22:36:00.000Z

I know this is random, but I have this weird feeling that I'm gonna get a boyfriend this year.

Hahahahahahahhaha. Problem is, I have absolutely no one in mind.

AHHHHHHHHH.... i think it's exam stress. Breathe breatheeeee.......

Exciting thought though. Hehe. Hmm..maybe not.

Down memory lane

2006-01-12T12:28:00.000Z

Irene came to visit me! It is a really really warm and fuzzy feeling when u meet up with friends from home, from high school, with whom u used to share and experience so so many things with. And the amazing thing is that we can still share so many things NOW though time and place separates us.

We talked about our old flames and crushes. Hehe.. funny how we can laugh over people whom we used to like, but have moved on, and still think of them fondly without any pain. "Relationships" then were so innocent, so harmless, and they don't leave much emotional baggage behind to scar us. I received a postcard this Christmas (well, the Christmas just passed) from a guy friend from back home. It goes "I invited you to a 'Group Camp' campfire but then was incredibly rude and barely spoke to you when you came. Fact is I was very shy at that time and definitely owe you an apology for it."

Muahahahhahahahaahhahaha... I'm in stiches.

Gosh, i emailed him and told him not to be ridiculous (in a nicer way of course). Oh man, that must have happened 4 or 5 yrs ago and I dont even remember the campfire!

No he's not an old flame...but I heard he used to like me. Some teenage thing I guess. Haha.. sometimes, I wish I could go back and live in the innocent, sheltered, buffered world of my school-going days.

Can't wait to go home this summer!!

I'm ALIVE!

2006-01-08T19:53:00.000Z

Forget the former things
Do not dwell on the past
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
And streams in the waste land.
Isaiah 43:1-19

I felt so tempted to write and reflect about the events of last year...but then, heck man! Move on!

Today in church I went up to talk to the pastor about some issues that were bothering me, mainly, some emotional baggage I didnt know I was still carrying; and about getting more involved in church (which is my new year's resolution actually).

He made me realised that I have to forgive, consciously forgive the people and past situations that had caused me so much pain last summer. Actually I didnt realise that I was carrying all this baggage till last week, some friends of mine went through some bad breakups with their boyfriends, and the emotions - anger, sadness, hurt that was penned up all summer just surfaced again and I just cried. And cried. And cried. And I had no idea why. I just knew I felt so mad and angry at those guys... because perhaps they all reminded me of that ONE guy.

Anyway, one thing I learnt now, it is good to forget the past, learnt new lessons and move on. But it is also so so important to CONSCIOUSLY forgive those people from the past. That includes forgiving God and myself. I've heard this lesson on forgiveness time and time again, but it is actually different applying it to myself. No wonder doctors cant treat themselves. It's just hard to take a step back and look at yourself objectively amidst all the mess and wounds and emotions. I know I can't do that. Yet.

Now it's over. I can now look back and see God's hand through it all. How he's been there for me throughout, and that in his perfect timing, things fall into place. And I am glad..I suppose if I kept holding on to it subconsciously, I may turn out more cynical. Or more vulnerable. I dunno. At one point, I told G, I am so vulnerable now, I feel like I could actually say "yes" to any guy who comes along and show me some attention and affection. What a silly billy. Hah..at least I know how it feels and can identify abit more with so-called "easy" girls. Coz don't we all need love and attention??

Pastor said this morning, your spirit could be alive, but your soul may be bruised and wounded. I know it sounds kind of abstract and weird, but I could somewhat identify with that statement. It's like throughout this semester, I felt confident in my mind and heart that God was there, taking care of me and I could be joyful and happy for it. But deep inside, I felt really tired. Drained. Uninspired. Like everything..the whole church thing, Christian Union on campus thing, was a drag. Something was weighing my soul down. I guess it must have been that root of unforgiveness deep down, which was like a cancer, sucking all the nutrients - the life, the joy, the peace, the love of God from me.

But nuthin's gonna steal my joy! I feel alive. Restored. I can write now! Not ramble on aimlessly, meaninglessly like my previous mindless posts. That was me in my pathetic attempts to express myself, to pour out myself, to reflect - hoping that somehow, the thing that was bothering me deep down would surface..like toxins coming out in vomitus. Or in diarrhoea.

It feels so good to be HOPING again. To really look forward to the new year and all the great things in store. Actually, from the looks of it now, I have things lined up all the way till the end of April. So much to do, so little time! Good stuff. Time to get busy living!! To LIFE!!

Happy Birthday Grace Choong

2005-12-19T12:14:00.000Z

There's this gal called Grace
She can be quite an ace
When it comes to testing my limits
And getting on my nerves.

I've known her all my life
Our younger years were full of strife
But now that we're older
We've grown so much closer.

And this is my prayer
As you approach your 24th year
That He will grant you all your heart's desires
Money, great boyfriend, flash career, diamonds.

But above all I pray for an abundant shower
Of heavenly blessings, grace and favour
And may your steps always be ordered
According to His will which is perfect and good.

Love ya sis.

Nomad

2005-12-17T16:48:00.000Z

I feel like I'm a nomad. A free, restless bird. I have different groups of friends and I tend to wander between the groups..coz I'd feel claustraphobic when i spent too much time with a particular group of people. Is it just me or what?

I like spending time with my Christian ah moh friends..kinda gotten used to their accents and small talk, which can be really funny. Eg:

"Like an affectionate nibble on your wife's ear"
"That's simple appalling!" - never heard the word "appalled" used anywhere in malaysia except maybe in eassays. So it was pretty weird and funny for me to hear it being spoken.
"That's just rubbish! That's so steewwpidd..what's a ridiculous idea!"

When I first came, it used to take a lot of effort just to listen and understand follow what they are saying. And for a while I just gave up spending too much time with them. But I guess I've gotten more used to the accents now and it's just funny listening to them. Though I cant actively do small talk to them coz they speak so quickly and they cant really understand my accent..especially when i talk fast and get excited. Ah well... heh...give me a few more years...

But when I get too bored of not being able to talk alot, I'll go to my Malaysian friends/Chinese medic friends. Coz I can feel so relaxed speaking with them..in my own accent, whatever way I want to say, saying what I wanna say.
But I feel that spending too much time with Chinese people make me claustraphobic. I feel that though us chinese are smart and sly in our own way, we are pretty narrow minded people as well. I feel like yelling sometimes: "Come on people! There's more to life than just studying! or making money! There's also fun, adventure, relaxation etc.

For example, over here the shops close at 530 pm. It was really annoying when I first came..coz i'm so used to popping over to the nearest stationery shop or photocopy shop outside USM at whatever time of the night i want and they are usually open.
My Chinese friends just say that "British people are lazy..and stupid..dunno how to make money." Well..I kinda agreed at first.
But when I think about it now...it's like, there's more to life than just working your butts off for the extra money, when there's also spending quality time with family..or doing other things like sports etc. And yes, the shop's opening time is shorter than home, but it's not unreasonably short. It's just that we have to be more disciplined and make sure we get our stuff done before everything closes.
I guess the argument can go on and on, but now that I've lived here longer, I'm beginning to understand the Bristish way of thinking better, and I have found a new respect for them..coz as my friend puts it, the Bristish have a "quirky innate old intelligence from our heritage." And they do have some common sense though they can be really crazy at times. I feel like I'm discovering a new species of people.
For example, last night, I stayed up with the Christian Union people (they're all ahmohs) giving out tea, coffee and hot chocolate to people leaving the university night club. We were standing there in absolute freezing cold and though i had 3 thick layers on, with my hat and scarf and gloves, I think it was absolute madness to do what we were doing if not for the passion of Christ for people that compels us. We weren't there to preach at people, but just to show love, and to be available to people who may wanna chat about God.
I've done this for the past year since I came and it's always enriching talking to people about God and his existence, suffering, relativism, faith. I find that British people question ALOT, and talking to them made me think more about my faith and study about it and ultimately made it stronger. I know right now that I have faith not only in my heart ie blind faith, but also in my mind. That too is a big difference between Brits and Asians..coz I think Asians just accept alot of things without questioning..and that stems alot from our culture of Hormat kepada Raja dan Negara, Orang yang Lebih Tua.

I could go on and on about what I talked to people about (coz it's really interesting and exciting - to me anyway..but that;s another story). Anyway, after that we stayed up to watch the sunrise. We went to the park and stood in the freezing, chilly morming winter cold air to watch the sunrise - which can barely be seen over the rooftops of the houses. And some of my friends were just fooling around, climbing on each other, wrestling like kids, running around. Something I don;t quite imagine Malaysian university students doing! And after that, we went back to a friends' house and they ate toast with beans and bacon. I couldnt eat anything..just wanted to sleep! have been awake for more than 24 hrs..without taking a shower. I went home at 10 am, slept, got up around 230 pm and I think my Circadian rhythm is messed up =P.

I think I've digressed quite alot from the main topic. Haha..anyway, I feel that the people I enjoy spending the most time with here are Africans. Had 2 really great African friends here, but they graduated last summer. With them I feel like I could acutally talk quite normally and be crazy and real. Sighh....

But for now, I guess I'll just live in no man's land and go where the wind blows me...

Gtg cook a big dinner now. Invited my Chinese medic friends over for dinner. Those who were left behind...Oh by the way, my holidays have begun!=) Hence the mad sunrise-watching event.

Ants in my pants

2005-12-09T01:14:00.000Z

I'm restless. As my friend would put it, i have "ants in my pants".That's y i'm blogging...

Not because i have nothing better to do. In fact, can think of alot of work to do...mainly urinary, gastrointestinal, respiratory blah blah....

Arghhh. I think I need to find something new to do. Need to get some diversion.

Things I wanna do next year (well, plan to...):
1) Join a gospel choir. Heard them sing at the christmas ball last week. Oh man..black ppl have so much soul and passion when they sing!
2) Join the church worship team.
3) Sign up for Contact and do counseling and pregnancy tests for students on campus.
4) Learn how to bake.
5) Take salsa lessons. For real.
6) Go to Amsterdam, Portugal, Barcelona and somewhere exotic. Maybe Morocco.
7) Get a job to fund number 7.

I miss the dogs. I think that's it! I need to get a dog! But sharks...cant keep dogs here. Sighhhh... Help me, someone. Tell me a joke. Or something funny. Make me laugh.

Clarification

2005-12-04T04:18:00.000Z

Just to make myself clear, I am no longer hung up over that guy in the previous post. It's quite a complicated story..and I'm not sure if i want to tell it now. Perhaps another day...

Anyway there was no way we could be together. And I was quite confused, and angry and sad over the situation. And I could not think back without feeling pain. But God has healed me...it was a gradual process... and that night when I could actually think about it without feeling horrible, it was such a release.

Now I am free from this emotional baggage. All that's left are just good, pleasant memories...and of course, lessons.

I think emotional wounds are the hardest to heal and without Love from above, the scars could leave a bitter taste in one's soul.

Mush Slush

2005-12-02T00:09:00.000Z

I miss...

The way we just clicked when we first met.
The way we look into each other's eyes and smile as if we're sharing a special secret.
The moments when you held me in your arms while watching the full moon and listening to the swish of waves on the lake.
The way I can talk about anything and everything and you'd understand.
The way you were bothering me to get up while i was trying to take a nap in the staff lounge.
The way we held hands secretly.
The last day on the beach, riding the salty waves.
The way you throw your hands in the air in exasperation and say "Woman!"
The way you sulked when i talked to other guys and not to you.
The way we looked forward to spending time together.
The way you covered me with your blanket when we were watching the "sunrise" and moonlight, and fireworks.

I guess after all the things you did...I still miss you....

Random rambles

2005-11-28T20:02:00.000Z

1. It snowed today...the roads looked so sludgy and squishy and slippery. And I got splashed by a car:P

2. If you connect all your air tubes in your lungs (ie bronchioles, bronchi) they would go round the equator twice! Wahh...

3. Your 'tummy' (the site of your button hole) isnt exactly where your real tummy sits...your intestines are actually there.

4. I actually stared into the guts and belly of quite a few dead bodies. Awesome come to think of it. I mean...how many people actually do that?

5. I finally figured out how to operate Roxio media player. After a year of using it on my computer.

6. Your digestive system produce 500 ml of gas everyday. Imagine the air pollution by the billions of people on earth.

7. I lost 5 kilos!!!Wooohooooooo =)

8. Number 7 was wishful thinking.

9. In fact, I went for a buffet dinner yesterday. Friend's birthday... so probably put on a kilo.

10. My phone bill last month was forty six pounds. Imagine that!! RM322!! What a disgrace. Blatant waste of taxpayers' money. Thanks JPA...

Rumble!

2005-11-15T12:20:00.000Z

Went to Nottingham Malaysian Games last weekend. Played scrabble and got miserably trashed :p The fella who won got 230 points, second place was 130 points and I had a measly 66 points. Hahahaha... so there goes my pathetic first attempt at competitive scrabble:P I think I'll take up lawn bowling...

ANyway, my friend;s boyfriend was playing football, so we went to watch. Her bf was the goalie. Basically, he swore at the referee, the referee held his collar and he punched the ref and KABOOMM, a fight erupted. So amazing. Like, wahlau..havent seen a real life fight like that between someone I knew. The goalie was given a red card by the ref, but his team still won.

After the match, the ref went up to the goalie, and we thought he was going to apologise and all that. But a little while after shaking hands, the ref punched his face. And there was a rumble. Guys from both sides just started hitting each other. While I just stood there mesmerised...

It was just pure mindless hitting, anger, fury, fierce, fearful, animal madness. I've never seen such expressions on people's faces before. It distinctly reminded me of dogs and cats fighting though. And my poor friend, who was beside her bf when it happened, was pushed into the mud. Eventually, onlookers managed to restrain them all. Personally, I didnt see why so many people had to get involved coz isnt it an issue between the goalie and the ref? But quoting the words of a guy friend, "It's a guy thing. Guys get angry when you hit the referee." And "On the football pitch, there are 2 most important people - God and the referee. And though you can't see God, there is still the referee."

Explanations, anyone?

An awakening

2005-11-09T15:52:00.000Z

I was talking to a guy friend from Malaysia the other day and he was asking, "So..are u still going around attracting guys and then breaking their hearts?"

I was....stunned for words. Of course not! I never saw myself doing that.

Two weekends ago, a guy friend of mine, S came over to Leicester to visit. He was my ultimate best guy buddy in Leicester last year, but he graduated and so he isnt studying here anymore. We were really close.. I treated him like a brother and told him alot of things, but I didnt feel romantically for him at all, which was the best part. And I thought it was the same with him. I thought, "Aha, finally I can actually prove that it is possible to be best friends with a guy without any emotional romantic nonsense stuff."

But somehow..I felt like I couldn't carry on as before with him. I felt we both (Or maybe it was just me) had grown over the summer. And it would be difficult to be as close without some emotional involvement.

I feel like I've just awoke to something new. To the fact that it is really difficult to be close to a guy without getting emotionally involved. And I can't treat all guys as brothers like I used to coz when I do, they may be misunderstandings which I don't wanna deal with.

Hope I'm not turning into a cynical old woman:P I miss my real brothers at home!! I miss the closeness, the security, and the pampering I get from them. And the best thing is getting closer to brothers won't change anything at all...

Happy Birthday Babe

2005-11-05T13:40:00.000Z

I have a baby sister
Whose birthday's in November
She occasionally annoys me
And tries to push me over the edge.
But now i wish she was here
Because after all she is a dear
And though she is miles away
I still miss her anyway.
And I pray that as you turn 19 Babe
You'll be all that God wants you to be.

Love you lots and lots. Kisses xxx

Wow

2005-11-04T00:31:00.000Z

I just met this guy who:

Is a policeman..he arrested a murderer before
Has a black belt in kickboxing
Has a flying license, ie he flies planes
Plays the piano really well
Is a university Sub-Warden and
A third year medical student

Wahlau...

Friends

2005-11-01T10:54:00.000Z

I met up with a friend the other day and while we were talking, she suddenly exclaimed, "you seemed to have grown alot!" And I didn't think she meant physically..heh..though I did grew physically of course:P Horizontally.

What she meant was that we had kinda grew apart after not seeing each other for over a year.

But when I think about it now, I have got high school friends whom I've not seen for over 2 years eg: Li Yuin, and yet we can still understand each other in our emails.

I suppose Time is the ultimate test of how deep a friendship is and how much friends truly understand each other. If someone knows you deep enough, superficial changes over time will not really matter coz she/he would know still be able to recognise the basic, fundamental you. And when friends like that meet, even after a long absence, they can still have things to talk and laugh about over a cup of teh tarik.

I say this as a generalisation. Of course there are always exceptions. And people do grow apart with time..have different priorities, different lifestyles, change. That's why it's important to keep in touch..and to go back home to touch base. That's why I AM going back to Malaysia next summer!

To my old best-est friends out there who still understand the real me, even though our times together seem so long ago - Irene, Siew, Li Yuin, Deiv, Lazzy, Hsuiyong..thank you for being there for me. I love you all.

Psalm 40:1-3

2005-10-30T14:29:00.000Z

I waited patently for the LORD;
He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.
-King David

Had an awesome time in church today. Pastor Ian read out that portion of scripture, and then the band started playing spontaneously and everyone just started dancing. Felt so freeeeeeee.
Danced and danced with my African friends. It was marvelous.
After the service, I met 3 friends I've been wanting to talk to for some time, but havent had a chance. We took communion together and prayed and it was beautiful.

Back home, I used to take communion like a ritual and not really THINK about it. It was like, "Yeah yeah, Jesus died for me, His body was broken for me, His blood was shed for me, thank you God." But now, I'm beginning to actually stop, reflect, and think of the implications of what Christ did for me at the cross.
By taking the bread, I am identifying myself with Christ's body. His righteousness, His power, His greatness - it's all MINE too. Wow... what a privilege!
And his blood.. blood is a lifesource. I have the LIFE of Christ in me. I am no longer the stinking, selfish, horrible, weakling Abigail. I am what God wants me to be. And God's power and life is at work through me and in me! So I should stop all my nonsense worrying and whining.

Amazing love! How can it be, that thou my God shouldst die for me? -Charles Wesley

Thank you God for watching over me. Love.

What was I thinking??

2005-10-30T00:08:00.000Z

Just came back from a 2 hour long Malaysian Soc committee meeting. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU ABIGAIL? WHY DID U AGREE TO BECOME A COMM MEMBER?

I dunno...I'm confused. Do i really wanna do it? Well, not that I have a choice now anyway..

When I came abroad last year, I made up my mind not to stick to Msians and become a free bird. And free bird I was..and still am. Joined this and that, went for socials, blah blah. And last year was really awesome too. So what's wrong with me? Why? WHy? WHY???

ARGH. Maybe it's just my rotten state of mind over the past weeks. It's messed up my system. I need my solitude back! I need to reflect! To pray, to get my focus right.

This brings the number of planning meetings I'm committed to go to each week = 3

Shucks. This is depressing. Was gonna list down the amount of work I have to do, but heck man. Just not gonna think about it.

1 Happy thought :Handphone problem solved. Friend GAVED her phone to me. So totally unexpected.. blessings come in unlikely ways.

BUT,
Today I ate (in chronological order)
Oatmeal = 150 kcal
Doughnut = 150 kcal
Lasagna = 650 kcal
Apple crumble = 500 kcal
Great big dinner = 1500 kcal
Total calories = 2950

What was I thinking??

Hmm...but then again, maybe I wasn't even thinking....

Raining dirt in oysterland

2005-10-28T11:15:00.000Z

Aaaaaaaa...

Calm down, calm down. Breathe.... hyperventilation...hypocapnia...alkalosis..bah:P

I am stressed.

Problem A- Phone problem
I got a deal from 3, but i sold the phone i got and used the sim in my nokia phone, which i unlocked at a dodgy London shop. But phone got barred last week coz apparently, I cant use my 3 simcard in any other phone other than a 3 phone. So my friend lend me his 3 phone, which is cacat coz when i talk with it, the other person cant hear me. SOOO..what's the point of having a phone which i cant use? And minutes which i cant use?!!

Ok..make pearls, make pearls. Good thoughts. At least my friend did have a phone to lend me, and this enabled me to unbar my simcard. And at least i can text with the phone.

But it's just so annoying...feel like I have so many calls I wanna make, but cant. Call my patient, call S, call sis, call doctor...argh!! Never realised how phone-dependent i've becomed. But then, it's all part of living out on your own..in this high tech world of fast things. I am lagging.... hates it hates it.

Problem B
Ordered a printer from Amazon.co.uk 3 weeks ago and it still hasnt arrived. Contacted seller twice but no reply. Ishh.. and i have to wait 30 days before filing a complaint. And in the meantime how? Have to walk ALL THE WAY to the library to print out my notes. THink so free ah? And it's expensive too. Ishh...somemore cant buy new printer till this problem solved. I hope compensation includes emotional anxiety and printing costs and waiting costs. Yeah right..

Problem C
Having a live-in permanent resident in my room for the past 3 weeks now. Dont get me wrong, E's really sweet and nice and all that. But i guess at this point in time, I just dont feel in the mood to be courteous and sweet and kind and whatever a good Christian is supposed to do. And i want my personal space too! Fuh.. and personal freedom to do what I want. Now I have to cut back my activities and coordinate them with her so that a) She wont be stranded outside without a key (there's only 1 pair) and b) I'd feel really bad if I'd just left her on her own. Coz she is really sweet and nice, really.

I guess problem C wont be a big deal if not for problems A and B. It's like Knudson's 2 hit hypothesis. The disease doesn't occur if there's only one factor, but shit happens if there's a combination of factors occuring at the same time. And I feel like i'm wallowing in dirt now...sigh...

To top it all, I've put on 2 kilos over the past 3 weeks. Despite going to the gym thrice a week. Patheticus. But that's my fault I know. Been hanging out and socialising ie, eating ALOT with friends. And i've developed this habit/craving of eating desert after dinner. Desert = ice cream = million calories. Just ate big chinese dinner last night (2nd one in the week!:P) and am gonna go to a friend's birthday on Sunday evening which incindentally is a Chinese buffet. Oh man...why does my social life evolve so much around eating?!

Ok time for lunch. Think happy thoughts, happy thoughts. God help clear this mess that's me. Argh. E's calling me for lunch.

Brain says "STOP BOTHERING ME I'M NOT HUNGRY! LEAVE IN ME PEACE TO DO MY WORK"

But i said "Ok, am coming...u go ahead first."

But of course she wont go ahead first, so here I go. Signing off....happy thoughts, happy thoughts...

Starting out

2005-10-27T16:48:00.000Z

I never thought i would actually create a blog. In fact, I USED to think that blogging was for people who had nothing better to do. Granted, I enjoy reading blogs (the kaypo in me..or in a nicer way, i just want to know what's up with my friends and family)..heh..and that's when I have nothing better to do, so....I am being contradictary aren't i?

Emm..where was I? I'm quite nervous about blogging actually. I just feel somewhat uncomfortable with the thought that I would be baring my innermost thoughts for the world to read...and that makes me feel kinda vulnerable. Therein lies the problem of deciding what to write and share, and what to keep confidential in Abby's personal space. Ah.. this is so stressful..

I could ramble on and on..but I will stop now, before I start sounding silly.

Ok, that's it. Random first post of mental nonsense.

Oh, I called the blog Abby's Oyster coz someone told me on my 21st birthday, "the world's your oyster" and..hmm...and that's all I remember from his text actually. heh.

From howstuffworks.com:

Most jewelry is fashioned out of precious metals and jewels that are found buried in the Earth, but pearls are found inside a living creature, an oyster. Pearls are the result of a biological process -- the oyster's way of protecting itself from foreign substances.

Basically, the oyster creates something rare, and precious out of something nasty. And I think that's a beautiful art of living. Living as in experiencing life. Not just existing. Bad things may come, but the real challenge is to keep smiling, look to God and trust that He will make all things beautiful.

And hope does not disappoint, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:4 (the Bible)

I will not stop living, I will not stop hoping..coz I believe in God and His love.